Poor
Donald Duck, always playing second fiddle to Mickey Mouse who straight
up thinks he owns all of Disney. If Mickey is the most popular boy in
school, Donald is the quirky outcast who no one ever bothers to
understand. And that’s too bad (and so typical), because Donald is
significantly more interesting than that overrated, self-obsessed mouse
(I honestly didn’t know I had unresolved anger towards Mickey Mouse
until I sat down to write this). Today is Donald Duck’s 81st
birthday, so to celebrate, we’re going to get to know and appreciate
this wacky duck the way he deserves to be known and appreciated. Here
are five lovable facts you never knew about Donald Duck, the secretly
cooler Disney mascot:
1. His full name is Donald Fauntleroy Duck
Fauntleroy?! Are you kidding me? This is the best middle name I’ve ever heard. Mickey doesn’t even have a middle name.
2. He has a wealthy uncle
Donald’s uncle is Scrooge McDuck. Named after Ebenezer Scrooge, McDuck is known as the richest “person” in the fictional Disney kingdom. Mickey, on the other hand, does not have a wealthy uncle. I know personally that if I had to choose between being friends with two Disney cartoons, I would probably go with whichever one has a rich uncle. Rich uncle = cool vacations.
3. He is an exhibitionist
Where are this guy’s pants? Donald Duck wears a spiffy sailor outfit but loves leaving the pants at home. You will never see Donald Duck with bottoms, except when he gets out of the shower, at which point he suddenly gets modest. Most of the time he is out and about flaunting his hot bod because he is Donald Fauntleroy Duck and has nothing to hide. Literally, there doesn’t seem to be anything there for him to hide.
4. He has a cute girlfriend who doesn’t seem to wear any pants either
1. His full name is Donald Fauntleroy Duck
Fauntleroy?! Are you kidding me? This is the best middle name I’ve ever heard. Mickey doesn’t even have a middle name.
2. He has a wealthy uncle
Donald’s uncle is Scrooge McDuck. Named after Ebenezer Scrooge, McDuck is known as the richest “person” in the fictional Disney kingdom. Mickey, on the other hand, does not have a wealthy uncle. I know personally that if I had to choose between being friends with two Disney cartoons, I would probably go with whichever one has a rich uncle. Rich uncle = cool vacations.
3. He is an exhibitionist
Where are this guy’s pants? Donald Duck wears a spiffy sailor outfit but loves leaving the pants at home. You will never see Donald Duck with bottoms, except when he gets out of the shower, at which point he suddenly gets modest. Most of the time he is out and about flaunting his hot bod because he is Donald Fauntleroy Duck and has nothing to hide. Literally, there doesn’t seem to be anything there for him to hide.
4. He has a cute girlfriend who doesn’t seem to wear any pants either
Daisy is a fun and flirty duck. She loves Donald and treats him well,
even though she is significantly more sophisticated than he is. Donald
can barely put together cohesive sentences, after all. Although she has
ruffled feathers to suggest a skirt, she doesn’t wear any actual
bottoms. This must be one of the reasons they get along so well. With
all this lower nudity you would think Donald and Daisy would have had
some children by now.
5. He makes an appearance in one of the most classic Disneyland rides
So, to sum up, here are the reasons Donald Duck is cooler than Mickey Mouse: Great middle name, wealthy uncle, semi-nudist with semi-nudist girlfriend, performs in a caballero band and appears at the end of It’s A Small World (which happens to be the best part of the ride). Sure, Mickey is sweet and spirited, sure he has a lovely girlfriend of his own, but at the end of the day he’s just sort of basic. Invite Mickey to a party and he’ll be a proper guest, but invite Donald and things are guaranteed to get pretty weird pretty fast. Happy birthday, Donald Duck, I hope you are partying hard.
5. He makes an appearance in one of the most classic Disneyland rides
So, to sum up, here are the reasons Donald Duck is cooler than Mickey Mouse: Great middle name, wealthy uncle, semi-nudist with semi-nudist girlfriend, performs in a caballero band and appears at the end of It’s A Small World (which happens to be the best part of the ride). Sure, Mickey is sweet and spirited, sure he has a lovely girlfriend of his own, but at the end of the day he’s just sort of basic. Invite Mickey to a party and he’ll be a proper guest, but invite Donald and things are guaranteed to get pretty weird pretty fast. Happy birthday, Donald Duck, I hope you are partying hard.